Meet Member
Kavita Ahuja
What is the biggest challenge facing women today and how do you overcome it?
Both in my years in the pharmaceutical industry as a specialty sales consultant, and now as a professional career and life coach, there are many common challenges I have seen that women face, both personally and professionally.
I would say the biggest challenges are those we pose upon ourselves internally. Of the internal challenges - I would say imposter syndrome is a huge one. Despite being extremely capable, successful, and high-performing women, clients often come to me because they experience self-doubt and uncertainty about their talents and abilities. What results is a feeling of unworthiness, and the belief that “I’m not good enough” which can manifest physically in stress, anxiety and playing “small”.
When women feel like they are not good enough, it stops them from, for example, pursuing opportunities because they feel they are not qualified enough, or not voicing their very valid opinions, for fear of judgment.
How do we overcome it? Great question! I could probably write pages on this, but suffice it to say, it all stems from believing that YOU ARE ENOUGH! Our internal voices and inner critics are the ones who continually feed these negative narratives to us - especially when we embark on something new. These inner critics or Gremlins are trying to keep us safe, in our comfort zones, and as a result, we listen to these internal voices and continually hold back from playing bigger.
One of many ways I help my clients through imposter syndrome is by helping them recognize all the great things about them! What are their strengths or superpowers? How much have they actually accomplished in their lives - big or small? Who have they influenced in their lives, and how have they actually made a difference?
It’s about recognizing and celebrating our successes and who we are both personally and professionally. And then when that Gremlin shows up - we can turn to it, smile, and say with confidence, “You can leave now. I’VE GOT THIS! You don’t need to keep me safe anymore!” Try it - it works 🙂
How do you suggest one maintains growth, learning and development?
There are many phases and transitions in a woman’s life, and with each one comes a different level and form of growth and development. Typically, when we are younger, in our 20’s and 30’s for example, growth, learning and development take the form of formal education, on the job training, and learning from other colleagues, leaders and outside mentors.
When we enter our 40’s and 50’s and beyond, this transition of growth and development is typically more about solidifying what we have already learned. It is about building upon our experiences and perhaps teaching and leading others. Often, it could mean upgrading our skills through education, or taking on greater responsibilities at work, or positions of higher levels, which challenge our growth.
A problem arises, however, if we stop challenging ourselves. This can happen at any age or stage, of course, but generally I see that if a woman has been in a similar position or career for many years, they can become stagnant in their growth. What tends to happen then, is the feeling that they are not as fulfilled in their work as they used to be, or that they are unsettled and begin to ask: what’s next?
The way to avoid this stagnation, in my opinion and experience, is to ask ourselves deep questions. For example:
Is what I am doing right now challenging me? If not, what can I do to fix this?
Am I utilizing all my talents, skills and passions to the utmost in what I am doing right now? If not, how can I use my talents better in other ways?
Is what I am doing right now aligned with my current values? If not, why not, and how can I fix it?
Finally, what is stopping me from growing, learning, and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone?
The desire to continually grow and develop must come from our own internal motivation to do so. If we are energized by what we do everyday and it challenges us - our lives can become so much more fuller and enriched!
3) What healthy habits do you employ/suggest to maintain mental health and well-being?
This question is so important, especially for women who often have multiple responsibilities - work, kids, spouses/partners, maintaining our households, friendships/social lives, extended families, boards/committees, volunteering, and the list goes on!
As women, we are experts at juggling these responsibilities and making them work, but often to the detriment of our own health. We give, give, give, and there is often little remaining to give to ourselves. This happened to me, especially when my kids were younger and I was juggling their activities, work, and everything else. I didn’t pause to think until much later in life - how is this affecting me?
Often we don’t stop to pause, and unfortunately, it happens all too often that a trigger is the only thing that will make us pause. This can come in the form of a health scare, either our own or those close to us.
I suggest and maintain that even before these potential triggers happen, we employ daily and healthy habits to maintain our physical, mental and emotional well-being. There are many tips I can suggest, but here is a list of some, that even if you employ for a few minutes on a daily basis - this never-ending cycle of stress will be reduced:
Breathe. Yes, that’s right. Don’t forget to breathe deeply - this centers you and puts you in the moment, especially in times of stress.
Establish a morning routine. This doesn’t have to be hours long. It can be a 15 minute routine. Mine consists of stretching, meditating, and journaling positive affirmations to start the day.
Exercise. Lately, I have been doing 15 minutes per day of heavy weightlifting. The benefits of weight training, especially as we age, are profound and documented. But any form of exercise will do. Move, move, move!
Walk. Try to get to 10k steps a day. Use the health app on your phone and challenge yourself everyday to get higher and higher on the number of steps. You’ll see how amazing it makes you feel. In nature, if possible!
Eat proteins and whole foods. I know, you’ve heard this before, but especially as women, we lose a lot of muscle mass as we age - so we need to ensure we get enough protein and healthy nutrients from our diet.
Smile, laugh, connect with others and play. Whatever that form is, don’t forget to play. Life can get serious - why not take a few moments a day to enjoy it?
Take pride in your appearance - wear bright colours that energize you and bring you joy. Feel good about yourself and your positive energy will soar.
Be in the present moment as much as possible. We can’t change the past, and can’t predict the future. So why not enjoy each present moment?
Stop caring what other people think
Surround yourself with positive people.
Doing these things will not only improve your health and well-being, they will release positive energy in your life so you have more to give to others, and more importantly to yourself. Remember, if not now, then when?